I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
