apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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