I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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