It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
