garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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