I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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