That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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