and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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