hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
