so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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