I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
