I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
