I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
