I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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