I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He shit in the fireplace
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
