I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
