told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
