some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
