ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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