Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
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while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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