sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
