I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
