you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
