Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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