the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I need to stop coming to work sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize