I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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