Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My vagina just clenched in fear
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
