New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm always down for nudity.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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