Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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