So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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