We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
