butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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