found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She's the barista slut.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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