ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
