what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
