Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
