just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
