dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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