I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
