the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Randomize
