So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
