plz talk dirty to me
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
