Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
