I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
