omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
