he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
