so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
