what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
