you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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