Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
