so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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