quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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