Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
