Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
