You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
PANTIES FOUND
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