Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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