hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
