oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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